This isn’t directed at my brother as much as the ideas and thoughts surrounding women in his post. I like girls, and society is hard enough on them already – I’ll correct judgmental views when I see them.
During dinner last night, I relayed (what I thought was) a hilarious anecdote to my brother.
A friend of mine has procured some stamps from his workplace, with prints such as “approved”, etc. After spending a passionate night with a girl, he got one of his stamps and stamped “approved” on her stomach. They both laughed and thought it was funny.
This sparked a small discussion about women’s rights and treating women with respect and all that. It also has apparently inspired quite a long blog post from my brother on the subject.
I agree that society is completely unfair on women and that men definitely disrespect women. But I disagree with all the examples and the underlying subtext behind his post. In short, in his valiant attempts to show the utmost respect towards women, he has disrespected them in the deepest way. I’ll explain.
I’ve always disagreed with a lot of feminist and women’s rights ideas. You can call me a dirty misogynist limone all you want, but the fact is there are differences between men and women – yet this doesn’t make either sex ‘better’ or ‘worse’. They’re simply different, and should be treated differently. Society does come into play with this – we live in a predominantly masculine culture.
The post that my brother wrote is full of disrespect for women. The subtext behind the entire post is that women are not even human, that they can’t make their own choices, that they’re stupid, and that they’re not sexual beings. How, in any way, shape or form, is that respecting women?
It’s quote and deconstruct time.
Not only are we treating women badly, but we are being encouraged by society to continue to treat women as nothing more than objects to satisfy the pleasure of man, with no intrinsic worth any greater than an animal, or a toilet. Actually, even animals are treated better these days, with all the talk about animal rights.
This theme comes up a few times. “Women are nothing more than objects to satisfy the pleasure of man”. There’s definitely a logical oversight here. Oh what could it possibly be? Well, lets assume for a second that women don’t use men in the same way (which they do) – well, women are consenting to this “treatment”. It’s not like they’re forced into being porn stars, models, strippers, whatever. They choose to go into these roles.
But lets be realistic, women are sexual beings as well – a statement like the one quoted above assumes that they don’t enjoy sex as much (if not more) than men. It’s as if they don’t enjoy the sexual attention as much as men enjoy giving it. Here’s a hint for any guy who doesn’t believe what I’m saying – that girl knows that her low cut top, her backless dress, her tight jeans and her boots are sexy and she’s wearing it for a reason.
If men are evil in this regard, women are conspiring with them for the same ends.
Boys: Dating is for men. If you think you’re ready to date, then man up, grow up, and take responsibility for the things in your life. She is not a plaything, a trophy, or a past-time. Not someone to simply “have fun with”; not someone to boast to your mates about “scoring”; and not “something to do while you’re bored”. Treat the girl you claim to love with dignity and respect, and always with her future in your mind. She will one day, by the grace of God, be a wife to a husband and a mother of children. How will your actions today affect her ability to be wife and mother in the future? Do not be fooled into thinking that what you do today will have no effect on what happens tomorrow.
Equality goes both ways, girls do the same to guys. Young girls date older guys to show off, older women date younger guys to feel young. People have needs and use each other to fulfil them. There’s no need to be judgmental and treat women as if they have no control or say. This snippet also brings out another important point as well – she will one day be a wife and a mother of children, and somehow actions today will affect her tomorrow. Well, if you really loved and cared for a girl enough to marry her, does her sexual history REALLY matter? Doesn’t sound like real love to me.
All the guys out there: When you look at porn, when you lust about and fantasise after women who are not your wife, think about the pattern of thought you are training your mind into thinking, and think about the values that you are ingraining into yourself. Think about how you are treating the women on your screen or in your mind as nothing more than objects for your pleasure, to be summoned upon the pressing of a button and to be dumped the next second on the pressing of another button. With such a high prevalence of pornography, should there be any surprise that divorce rates and infidelity rates are so high? Men train themselves to think of women simply as objects to satisfy their pleasure, not as people whom they should commit their lives to, mind, body and soul, and so when the women they chose no longer satisfies they simply drift off to some other woman.
Yes, and videogames inspire people to kill each other. People know the difference between real life and video. Plus, these girls are VOLUNTARILY going and working in porn. Girls can make conscious decisions (GASP OMG RLY) and people shouldn’t treat them as if they’re dumb objects with no minds. Divorce rates and infidelity? Porn hardly has an effect on this. In fact, in the subtext of the post, wouldn’t guys be satisfied already with porn and thus not feel the need to cheat? Men training themselves to treat women as objects? Women are choosing to be in porn, lets not judge them for it and lets definitely not treat them as if they can’t make their own decisions.
Not only do men devalue women by the way they treat them with their eyes, but also by the way they treat them with their mouths. They talk about them as if they’re simply trophies to be won and bragged about. They talk about how certain girls are hot and other girls are not, ignoring that all women are made in the image and likeness of God and so are of incomprehensible value, whether they’re “hot” or not physically.
I’m going to be frank and honest here. Are you really going to be attracted to a girl who isn’t physically attractive? Beauty is important and is one of the things that all men should appreciate in women. Women put so much effort into making themselves attractive – waxing, tanning, exercising among other things. SO MUCH EFFORT. Taking 3 hours to put makeup on is a massive effort compared to the 10 minutes I spend showering, throwing clothes on and brushing my teeth. Sometimes I even forget to shave. Lets appreciate beauty in women, and ignoring their efforts is just treating them as if they’re worthless and that they did all that for nothing.
And of course, men devalue women through what they actually do with them. They treat them as playthings, trophies, or past-times, disregarding what devastating effects on their future that such treatment can bring. Instead of trying to find a wife they can treasure, serve and care for, they find someone with which they can “score” and have “fun” with. Some men just can’t look past the momentary pleasures and see what dramatic consequences their fleeting pleasures may have on someone else’s life.
1. Women do the same. 2. Women make their own sexual choices.
Don’t treat them as if they aren’t human, it’s just plain disrespectful.
One of the things I hate about the way things work in our society is the phenomenon of dating and dumping. Children are being encouraged to “explore” a side of themselves that they’re not ready to go into. They feel pressured that they must date someone, and so they do, before they are ready. And of course the relationship can’t last if neither of them are really ready for it. And so inevitably the relationships fall apart.
…
So boys, don’t date until you’re ready to throw in your all. Otherwise, you’ll just set yourself up for failure in the future.
This is under the assumption that you’ll get it right the first time around. Don’t lie to yourself – it takes experience and trial and error to maintain relationships. Unless you’re extremely lucky or blessed you probably won’t get it right the first time. Or the second time. Or the 50th time. I’d much rather have loved and lost than have never loved at all – the pain is all part of the experience. You’re really setting yourself up for failure if you don’t practice – hell, I know that all my practice and experience will become essential in helping me get that dream girl of mine one day.
blah blah men leaving women and children
Yeah it’s a shit act to leave a child. Real men take responsibility for their actions.
Remember that ALL women are, directly or indirectly, the Daughters of God. They are people of incalculable worth, made in the image of God and treasured deeply, passionately, and jealously by the One True Almighty God.
So treat them respectfully and not just as objects that have no thoughts, no dreams, no freedom, no ability to choose their own path, no… I could go on for a while. Point has been made over and over.
To the women: Men are evil. Be warned, and watch out. Don’t let just any guy get near you. Make sure he’s worth it.
Yeah, boys are stupid. Throw rocks at them. Don’t just let any guy get near you, make sure he treats you as human 
-Matt